Yesterday night, Lewis and Janet came over to relax and also with the intention to pray.

Yet before we get there some explaining is necessary…..
The Lord has been highlighting the brokenness in my heart concerning the wounds I had received from my father.
I’ve realized that there are suppressed emotions and memories, hiding beneath the slightly ignorant mindset of Albert.
The emphasis of the father’s heart began when I initiated Spring cleaning…. in winter.
As I cleaned my house and reorganized it into my sheer artistic genius idea, I stumbled upon memories of my long forgotten father.
I found a letter that he had written me for my birthday, and I began to weep in reminiscence of him.
Had a seed of sorrow been planted in my heart?
To be more exact, my Father in heaven had stuck a surgeon’s needle through my calloused heart, and was preparing to pry it open.
Though, this would happen over a process of months…
(Yet the truth is that it has been happening for a process of years)

And now we come to two weeks  ago, when both Pastor Ryan and Joseph initiate conversations of my father, and ask me strenuous yet unveiling questions
about my relationship with my father.
Yet the only thing I can truly do is listen and simply nod my head in expectation of what is to come.

Which now chronologically brings us to today. (or yesterday to be exact).
As we “randomly” begin watching home videos of my family with elegant classical music in the background, I slowly break down and make a run for the bathroom.
And there I weep reminiscently of who my father was, and how great it would have been to have him here……
A joyous family- a full, complete, joyful family… I will never taste such a glance of this heaven  till death do me part.
To lean upon a man in full confidence, and to have no fears or any slight worries of judgment or abandonment…
Was this really in my heart?

And as we begin to pray, God speaks.
He tells me of who I am to become. (not what I will do)                For there are far more important things in life than ministry and those verbal actions.
What we need today are not more ministers and pastors.
What we need are fathers- fathers who will love in heart, time, feeling, emotion…. fully given not to a calling…. but fully given to a person…
Is this not the call of character?  To lay down our business of ministry and to give ourselves to sons and daughters….. and allowing them to rob us of our time and money…                ..our efforts and strivings….. even robbing us of our own callings and destinies, if it means that they can be exalted above our own heads.

This should be the case, should it not?
Hear this prayer.
May I never become a minister or pastor who is too busy running the church, that I cannot actively pursue my sons and daughters in love.
May I never become too occupied with meetings that I cannot show the love that is in my heart in the full obedience of action and surrender.
Your life above mine.

What people need are not more ministers… it’s love.  A father’s love that would hold them tight until every chain falls loose unto the ground.
There is no need to name the chains or to bind the darkness.  For love is the antidote to every broken heart.  Love is the answer to every hurting cry.
Make me a father that could shepherd sons and daughters, not merely sheep and goats.

“God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.”

1 Corinthians 1:9

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He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.

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“They divided My garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots.”

John 19:24, Psalm 22:18

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Prophetic worship is too hyped in my opinion.  If we carve it down to it’s inmost function, I think we’d find a man in love, singing his praise to God.  I don’t think it comes in that time where we say, “Oh we’re going to have prophetic worship now,” but rather in the spontaneous moment of prayer and worship.  Looking at the prayer of David in Psalm 22, I don’t think that he was planning on prophetically singing about Jesus’ passion and suffering, but he was simply doing his normal bizznus.   It was not a planned moment!  They didn’t have prophetic worship training seminars back then.  He simply lived a life of worship in songs and psalms daily before the Lord, and the prophetic spirit of God would meet him in that moment of surrender.  And in that place of seemingly “ignorant” worship, David sings about the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ and His death that would bring life to all mankind.

“Shall I not drink the cup which My Father has given Me?”

John 18:11

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“I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one.”

John 17:15

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I am not of this world.

But I am not out of this world.

I am supernaturally natural

And naturally supernatural.

I am from heaven.

But I am here on earth.

I am so heavenly-minded,

that I am of earthly good.

If I were earthly-minded,

I would be of no earthly good,

Nor heavenly good.

Therefore, keep me in this world,

But not of this world.

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However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.  He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you.  All things that the Father has are Mine.  Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you.”

John 16: 13-15

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From this passage:

(1) The Holy Spirit hears.

(2) The Holy Spirit speaks.

(3) The Holy Spirit is the epitome of truth.

(4) The Holy Spirit tells us of things to come (Spirit of Prophecy).

(5) The Holy Spirit lives for the glory of Jesus.

(6) The Holy Spirit declares (to us).

(7) The Holy Spirit can only move within the jurisdiction of Jesus (which is no limitation at all).

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“Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.”

John 15:2

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John 15- a verse that is permeated through every sphere of Christian living.  Yet today, I would like to offer my own experience in these words today.

To begin, I believe that everyone has a physical body, but there is also a spiritual body- a holy temple, that is born of the spirit  (John 3 and Nicodemus).  But our spiritual bodies are not contained within our physical bodies, but can grow beyond its borders.  Now as we experience growth in our spirits, through testing, purging, trials, and love, there is also a stretching process that occurs.  Just like any physical stretch, it is uncomfortable, slightly painful, and feels utterly long.  But, it is important, because without it, our muscles would tighten up like a rock and be limited in growth and expansion.  In the same way, our spiritual bodies must be stretched.

In my Blessed K-Group, we discussed this stretching process.  The question arose: Is it true love if you have to push yourself to offer an act of kindness to someone? If I have to force myself to give someone a ride, is that true love?  If I must be intentional about offering edifying comments to my brother, is that false love?  When I stretch myself to love beyond what I am normally capable of, is that a pseudo-love?

The conclusion was given: Sometimes, we must force and condition ourselves to love others even when we don’t feel like it.  And when I do so, I am stretching my spiritual muscles so that the forced acts of kindness now would be easy and natural in the future.

Jesus never said, love your neighbor only when you feel like it.  He simple stated that we must do it all of the time, because it pleases His heart.  And when we begin to love one another and stretch ourselves beyond what the standard love requires, then a true love would be apparent that would seem alien to those on the outside of the church. Once we condition ourselves to love, then we would be conditioned to love those outside the church as well.

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And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever – the Spirit of truth.

John 14:16

But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

John 14:26

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I need you Holy Spirit.  I enthrone You as king Holy Spirit.  I love you Holy Spirit.  You’re pretty much my best friend Holy Spirit.

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Peter said to Him, “You shall never wash my feet!”  Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.”  Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!”

John 13:8-9

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The act of washing feet was an offensive act for a man who was a King.

Only after Jesus’ revolution had it become a redeemed act of servitude and grace, and a cornerstone teaching of leadership in the church.

I like Peter.  He was a wholly-given man who gave his complete obedience into what he believed, whether it was right or wrong.  He was a man of integrity to what he believed to be true.  In one situation, we see him even rebuking Jesus for his actions.  Then the next, he’s begging Jesus to wash his entire body.  What a funny man.

Today I was walking on the beach with no shoes on.  Beforehand I had taken a shower.  I was pretty much clean, except my feet, which was completely black and dirty from the places where I had gone.  At that moment, this passage came alive to me,

“”He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean.”

John 13:10

I think Jesus was talking about our condition… that we are already made clean by the blood of Christ which has cleansed us from every wickedness, but we still need to wash our feet everyday as we’re walking here on earth.

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Yet at the same time many even among the leaders believed in [Jesus].  But because of the Pharisees they would not confess their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved praise from men more than praise from God.

John 12:42-43

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The religious spirit sucks the life out of true faith.

The religious spirit suppresses the voice of belief.

The religious spirit hinders people from following Jesus.

The religious spirit creates fear.

The religious spirit loves praise from man.

The religious spirit is going down